Another Blissful Week/Best Thing I Heard

Wow, this week has just cruised on by! We had a great Mother's Day at Kennywood!  The lines were almost non-existent, the weather was cool but nice, and we had a great time.  Here's my favorite picture of the girls from that day:

That's them on the kiddie coaster. But they had a great time on the Jackrabbit, too!

I thought I would share some of my Mother's Day love...and laughs.  First off, I got a very cute card from Chloe that she made in preschool.  Inside, it had a cute photo of her out in the garden.  Then, I got Becca's card.  She had been talking about it for three days.  It was a big surprise.  I totally cried when I read it.  Here are some of the pages:

So, that one is "My favorite time together is when we...lay together in my bed."  Cute.  Really, though, my legs aren't quite that skinny.  

Yup, Becca wants to give me an indoor pool.  Not quite sure where we would put that one...and I think it may be more for HER.

Yup, this one makes me cry.  How totally sweet.  Really, I look like ass in the morning.   But at least I have my daughters snowed.  And I'm not sure why I don't have any clothes on in this picture, but I don't sleep in the buff.  I'm always too cold for that.  Now the next one has a little story:

Now, at first look it seems innocent enough.  "My favorite thing about my mother is we both like to play."  I was reading the little book/card out loud.  When I got to this page, Becca exclaimed "Hey!  It's not supposed to say we both like to play!  It's suppposed to say we both want a slave!"

The laughter just roared out of my mouth.  I said "Becca, I never said I wanted a SLAVE.  I said I wanted a MAID!"  I explained how having people as slaves is a completely terrible idea.  She was fine with my explanation.  Then I wondered...did the teacher choose not to write the whole slave thing because she felt uncomfortable with that?  I mean, I may have done the same thing...don't get me wrong.  Then I thought 'play' and 'slave' could sound very much alike.  Especially in a noisy kindergarten classroom.  I was hoping that she heard 'play' instead of 'slave' because I really don't want the teacher to think that I was upset with the outcome of the Civil War.  Then I looked at the picture.  Looks to me like somebody is bringing me and Becca something to eat at a table.  Servants?  Cooks?  OK, that I can handle.  I have a bunch of money and I pay them well.  I'm fine with that.

But not slaves.

Hell, I can't even get my kids to clean up their toys.

So, that's my Mother's Day chuckle.  Sorry I waited a while to share it.  I had this crazy flu/cold all week.  Producing one pound of snot per hour takes a lot of energy out of ya.  But I'm almost back to normal (as normal as I can be, anyway).  

More later :)

Signs of a Broken Heart

First, let me say that I had a great weekend! The weather is starting to cooperate, we had great business at Downey's House, and I made it through a party at Chuckie Cheese yesterday. I'll complain more about Chuckie Cheese soon. But for now, I have this for you:

I'll bet you thought that title meant I was going to talk about love.

Wrong.

I received this email over the weekend. It talks about how a woman might feel if she were having a heart attack. I'm 38. There are people my age who have had heart attacks. So, I tucked this information into the filing cabinet in my brain. I hope you do, too. Here's the email:

FEMALE HEART ATTACKS


I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is the best
description I've ever read..

Women and heart attacks (Myocardial infarction). Did you know that women
rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have when experiencing heart
attack .. you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat,
grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor that we see in the movies. Here
is the story of one woman's experience with a heart attack

'I had a heart attack at about 10 :3 0 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior
emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was
sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap,
reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, 'A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with
my feet propped up.

A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you've been
in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball
going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation---the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m.
After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing
motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my
aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my
sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering
CPR).
This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling ab out what was happening -- we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I
think I'm having a heart attack!

I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart
attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the phone is or
anywhere else ... but, on the other hand, if I don't, nobody will know that
I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a
moment.

I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics ... I told her I thought I was having a heart
attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts.. She said
she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was
near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor
where they could see me when they came in.

I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost
consciousness, as I don't remember the medics coming in, their examination,
lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the
call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we
arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues
and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was
bending over me asking questions (probably something like 'Have you taken
any medications?') but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying,
or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the
Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon
up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2
side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery.

I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at
least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took
perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St. Jude
are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to
the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped
somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stints..

Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want
all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first
hand.

1. Be aware that something very different is happening in your body, not the
usual men's symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and
jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of
their first (and last) MI because they didn't know they were having one and
commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn
preparation and go to bed, hoping they'll feel better in the morning when
they wake up ... which doesn't happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not
be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is
unpleasantly happening that you've not felt before. It is better to have a
'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!

2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics .' And if you can take an
aspirin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!

Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER - you are a hazard to others on the
road.

Do NOT have your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road.

Do NOT call your doctor -- he doesn't know where you live and if it's at
night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or
answering ser vice) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry
the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do,
principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr will be notified later.

3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a normal
cholesterol count.. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated
reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high and/or
accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term
stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormonesinto your system to sludge things up in there.

Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep.

Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could
survive.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people,
you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.


**Please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends (male &
female) you care about!**

And just as I was typing this, Chloe woke up, came downstairs and started playing a game. I guess she learned a new word. As she was playing she said "Dammit! I almost got the blue one." Yeah, I've gotta go and deal with that.

Best Thing I Heard

I have a little ritual with my girls at bedtime. I talk with them. I spend some time reading with Chloe, then she completely leads the conversation. After Chloe dozes off, I do the same thing with Becca. The other night, as Becca and I were having our little conversation, the subject of penises came up. The little voice in my head told me 'OK, watch what you say. Not too much. Answer her questions. Don't scar her for life.'

The subject came up because she asked me how, when somebody is pregnant, they can tell whether it's a boy or a girl. So, I explained the whole ultrasound thing to her, and that the doctor can see whether or not the baby has a penis. I could see her searching in her brain, wheels turning, trying to remember what in the hell a penis is. So I said to her, "Remember when we changed baby Logun's diaper, and he had a penis?" Yes, she remembered. All was good. No scarring involved.

Then, she proceeded to tell me "It's way better to be a girl. Because when you're a girl, you can read a book when you go pee."

Good point, little girl. Good point.

Best Thing I Heard

This is a conversation that Chloe and I had in the car after preschool today:

"Mom, there's a statue of Hamilton (read: Abraham) Lincoln."
"Yeah? Did you learn about it today?"
"Yeah. And he's in a chair. He got a statue because he got dead. Really dead. It's by the White House."

Ha!

The Best Thing I Heard

If you follow me on twitter, or if you're my friend on facebook, you've already heard this one. I think I'm going to start tagging things like this as 'Best Thing I Heard.' I forgot to post it yesterday.

As we were in the car going to the museum on Sunday, here's what Chloe had to say:

"Mom, some dinosaurs eat trees. Other dinosaurs eat ham."

Damn, she's cute!