Squeeee!!! More Vampires!

I'm like a little kid right now! Yesterday I got my delivery from Amazon, which included the new Sookie Stackhouse book from Charlaine Harris, "Dead and Gone." I'm sure I'll devour it in one sitting, but I just need to block out the time for that one sitting!! Today WOULD be the perfect day to lock myself in my bedroom and read it, seeing that it IS Mother's Day. But, <>seeing that I'm a totally selfless mother < /sarcasm >, I've decided that the family should go to Kennywood today.

Truth be told, I LOVE Kennywood. I've held onto that love of roller coasters since I was five years old. My first big memory of coasters goes back to West View Park. I used to ride the kiddie coaster over and over and over again. Then the park closed. If it had stayed open just one more year, I would have been old enough to ride the big coaster. No worries, though. There were plenty of other places to ride coasters.

Now, Becca and Chloe aren't quite tall enough to ride all the 'big' rides, but they ARE tall enough for the Jackrabbit. They both love it, and have been talking about it all week. And Kennywood has the best food, too (Unlike Cedar Point, whose food absolutely sucks!). I'm gearing up for some Potato Patch fries, a corn dog, some funnel cake and our traditional exodus treat...cotton candy. (Wow. Fried, fried, fried and sugar). By the time we get back tonight, my feet will hurt, my patience will probably be fried (heh, heh...more fried), and I'll need a Tums or two. But that's how it always ends, and I still consider it a great day.

So, Sookie, Bill and Eric will have to wait. I'm sure they will be a read that lasts until 2:00 in the morning.

Oh, I did get another book with my Amazon order. It's a collection of short stories called "Bite," and Charlaine Harris has a Sookie story in it. I enjoyed the story (It's about her cousin Hadley's death), but I wouldn't suggest purchasing the book just for that story (like I did). It was only thirty or so pages, and I could have lived without it. Or tracked it down at a library.

So, Happy Mothers' Day, whatever you decide to do! And a big thank you to my Mom. Although I appreciated her before I had my own children, now I really 'get it.' And she did a hell of a job. And she kept her sanity. Amazing.

***OOH, one last thing. As I was gathering links to this post, I found that you can pre-order the NEXT Sookie Stackhouse book, due out October 6th. Looks like the name of it is "A Touch of Dead." Yeah, I'm gonna have to go do that. Once I get some extra 'me' cash!

One Ticket to My Past, Please

First, let me say that I'm sorry for not posting over the past week or so. I truly got on vacation mode. Good thing I was actually on vacation. I relaxed. Really relaxed. I swam. Tony and I actually went OUT and had appetizers and drinks. I also plowed through three books while on vacation (more on those later - The Sookie Stackhouse novels - love 'em). And you know what else I did? I posted some old pics on Facebook.

Now that was fun. Because I was at my folks' house, there was a treasure chest of old photos. I tried not to be TOO embarrassing. Well, not to anybody else, anyway. I really don't mind embarrassing myself. At all. Anyway, here are some of the pics that I posted, for your viewing pleasure.


I actually posted the entire class picture, but I didn't want to step on any toes here on the blog. But, do you see that? Would you like to compare Look at Chloe:

Now, there's a 3 year age difference here, and I was limited to whatever pics I have on my laptop ('cuz I'm comfy on the couch, here), but there really is a crazy resemblance. I mean, she does have my genes and all...so I shouldn't be surprised. So, here is what she may look like in 17 years:

My entire family thought I looked like Joanna Kearns in this picture. I guess I sort of do.

So, where have I been going with this? Well, since being on Facebook and catching up with lots of old friends (from grade school and high school), I've been reflecting a bit. To be quite honest with you, there are large chunks of grade school and high school that I don't remember. I mean, I remember the big things that happened, and if somebody tells a story I may remember some of the smaller things. But I don't remember the details. And I'm fine with that. I've never been one to dwell on the past. Ever. If I'm looking at old photos, my brain might dance there for a while, but I've never been a 'Coulda, shoulda, woulda' kind of girl. My focus is always on the future. (So much so that I sometimes forget to enjoy the present). And I like it that way.

There were a bunch of us commenting on a photo from high school, and the conversation turned towards what we would have done different in high school. I'll be the first to admit...high school wasn't all peaches and cream. And my first instinct is that I would have not worried about boyfriends and spent more time with friends. But then I realized that if I didn't go through EXACTLY what I went through when I was younger, I wouldn't be the person I am today. If I didn't date the people I dated, befriend the people I befriended, go to the parties I went to, have ALL of the relationships I've had...I may be different right now. And I like me. Yes, there are some things I would like to improve. But all in all, I'm good company for myself.

And hopefully I'm good company for you! So, it's now 2:30 am. I've had four hours of sleep already, and I think I'll head up for 3 or 4 more.

That whole 'improve' thing. Definitely want to improve my sleeping schedule!!!!

Sometimes, I'm not a bitch

I received an email from an old friend today. We had recently found each other on Facebook, and hadn't really talked in at least ten years. This was somebody I used to work with when I was a bartender and she was just an awesome person (and I'm sure she still is!). Super sweet and hard working. So, here's what she sent. I had completely forgotten.

RINGS OF FRIENDSHIP

I was experiencing the hardest time of my life in the year of 1995. The reason behind this tough time was the separation and divorce I was going through. I had gotten to the point where I was pretty much past the emotional roller coaster of my feelings of ups and downs. I was told over and over by numerous bill collectors that, while they were sorry about my situation, they still needed their money. After questioning whether or not my husband could be at least partially responsible for the bills he'd helped incur, I was told that he couldn’t be held accountable because he lived in the next state! He was only two hours away! I have to say that the thought crossed my mind about moving over that state line! Is that all it took?! What a simple solution to get out of paying your bills! I, however, didn’t want this hanging over my head. I wanted to be done with my past, not hide or run from it.
One of my bill collectors eventually got tired of my meager payment plan and ended up taking me to court for the account to be paid in full. He ended up winning. The amount that was due was way past what I could afford all at once, in addition to the rest of the bills that I was attempting to keep up with, as well as, catch up on. I would work as many double shifts as I could, but I couldn’t seem to get caught up. I still seemed unable to get over this “hump." This one bill really put me behind more than I already was. I began to wonder once again if I could make it on my own, financially.
One night my friend, Heather, and I got together for a “girls night” at her house. We were eating Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream, right out the container, going through old pictures, scrapbooks, looking at remnants of her past.
She then pulled out a dull gold ring with a light green stone from one of her many drawers full of memories. She held it up, turned to me and said, “This is my strength ring”. Thinking she was either very tired or getting philosophical on me, I looked at the ring. It didn’t seem very “strong” to me. It was plain, in fact, not very pretty at all. Th e stone didn’t even shine anymore.
She went on to tell me the story of how she had had the ring for a long time and once in a particularly bad time in her life, she found it after it had been forgotten about, and began to wear it again. Whenever she would get sad or depressed or wonder about decisions she had made, she would look at her ring and find the strength to get over what she was feeling.
She looked at me and said, “ I know you’re going through a rough time right now in your life, so I’m going to loan you my strength ring”. She handed me the little green ring with the directions on how to use it. “Whenever you are sad, lonely or depressed and start to wonder about your decisions, look at the ring, understand that I love you and that you have so many friends that care about you. Feel confident about your decisions, past or present. You made, and continue to make them confidently and after thinking them through, so don’t look back-move ahead”.
Her final thought on the ring was, “When you are strong enough, and no longer doubt yourself, you’ll know. You won’t need the ring anymore. Only then give it back. Until then-it’s yours. No matter how long it takes”.
The plain little ring fit perfectly on my finger. I was touched by her heartfelt words, but still very skeptical on its powers to solve my problems and help me feel better.
I soon found out I was wrong about that! My little “ring of friendship” seemed to almost have a power, or hold, of its own. When I would begin to feel down, like the world was closing in on me, I would always feel compelled, or drawn, to look at the ring and feel its strength.
After some time, I began to realize that this wasn’t a talisman with magical or problem solving powers. The “strength” that it held was that of friendship and also of my “inner strength” that I always had, but sometimes forgot about.
One night at work Heather and another friend of ours, Eileen, invited me out to a late night restaurant for something to eat after our shift. She said a lot of our friends were going to go and that I should come too. It sounded like fun, so I decided to join them.
After we had placed our orders, which consisted of salads and ice cream, Eileen handed me a card and said, “This is from all of us to let you know that we love you and are proud of all you’ve done for yourself and we’re proud of the confident person you’ve become”.
I was touched, along with being a little bit surprised and embarrassed because all of my friends were around the table looking at me, smiling! My other “ring of friendship”.
On the outside of the card it said, “Hang in there”! Then on the inside, along with the words, “You are loved”, was a collection of money that they had gathered from 53 of my friends. The total was over $600.00. What it meant to me was worth more than any amount of money.
I was so overwhelmed by how many people cared about what happened to me and at what good friends I had.
I managed to get over my mountain of bills with a lot of work and help from my friends! June was my hardest month. I told myself all through the month, if I can just get through June, I can get through anything!
On the last day of the month, I was celebrating within myself, for myself. I knew I’d be fine and felt better than ever. I was confident with everything, including who I was and also who I had become. I knew that I’d encounter occasional rough spots down the road in life, but I felt powerful to face the challenges and ready to overcome the obstacles.
I walked over to Heather at the end of our shift, looked at her and said, over the lump in my throat, as I pulled off my “strength” ring ( which I now saw in a whole new light!), “thank you for everything, I‘m ready to give you your ring back now”. And I was.

I have to say, reading this made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I tend to focus on what I'm doing wrong (or have done wrong) instead of what I've done right. So, receiving this story today brought everything full circle...It's exactly what I needed. In order to simply be more positive and productive in my life, I'm going to focus on the GOOD instead of the BAD in my everyday life. Which may make for a boring blog...we'll see!!!

Premature Santa-lation

Here it is, 11:00 am on December 24th. Yeah, we've already done the whole Christmas morning thing. There's really quite a history behind it...

When I was small my father (who was a cop) almost always had to work on Christmas Day. Plus, my father is not exactly patient when it comes to gift giving. I'm the same way. Must be genetic. Anyway, Santa always came to our house overnight on the 23rd/24th, and we opened gifts the morning of Christmas Eve.

Fast forward to my grown up years. Yes, I'm already impatient. Tony and I are living together. I was tending bar at the airport, and I always had off Christmas Eve. And always worked Christmas Day (I usually didn't start until 4:00 - and I got FANTASTIC tips that day). Also, at this time the Downey family festivities usually lasted on Christmas Eve until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, and one (if not both) of us were experiencing a fuzzy Christmas buzz. So, the Christmas Eve morning tradition continued.

So, now we have kids. Up until this year, Tony always worked on Christmas Day. Just made sense to keep the tradition alive. This year I had to pause and think about it, though. Yes, Tony is working on Christmas Day, but not until 7:30 pm. Should we break the tradition? Should we follow the Christmas rules? I decided to keep our personal tradition alive, and here is the reasoning: Tony is SO not used to waking up any time before 11:00. If I had to wake him up at, let's say 6:00 am tomorrow morning, it would throw him off for the entire day. So, he came home from work around 3:30, we set up the presents and stockings, and sat around shooting the shit until 5:30. Out came the bells, the mad rush to try to find Santa, and a whirl wind of cute Christmas wrapping, Hershey Kisses and plastic play things. Tony even made breakfast. (Although he kept referring to the 24th as 'tomorrow' and I kept referring to the 24th as 'today.')

Becca is now old enough to figure out that she's getting her presents early. Easy cover up there. PapPap and Santa go way back. Best friends, in fact. There's a very elite group of people that Santa comes out early for. And we're included.

So, now I'm dead tired (I've been awake since about 2:00 am). And I just went through all the opening of the toys. With the wires. And the plastic restraints. I only swore about five times, and came through with one injured finger. I'll share more about the toys (and which ones suck) tomorrow. But for now I will leave you with a design I did for t-shirts and such a couple of years ago. (I think...or maybe it was last year). Anyway, as I was twisting, pulling and swearing I thought of it:

Toy Company Greeting Cards (Pk of 10)

Have a great holiday, and please be safe!!!!!!

Wow, how times have changed

I may have mentioned that I've gotten sucked into the vortex of facebook lately.  It's all good.  I started an account there a year or so ago, mostly to promote my t-shirts and to connect with other people who do the t-shirt thing.  But recently I've re-connected with many grade school and high school friends, among others.  And today I realized just how much I have changed.  It hit me like a ton of bricks today when I said this to Becca:

You'd better stop playing on those steps, or YOU'LL be the one with the broken leg!

Now,  she had just finished telling me about a girl at the birthday party this afternoon who had a broken leg.  So, it hits me.  I can't believe that kind of stuff is coming out of my mouth!  There are other things I thought I'd never be saying (BTW, all these things were said today):

• Close that fridge before all the food goes bad
• Let me help you.  Your underwear is on backwards.
• Didn't I tell you NOT to jump in the puddle?
• Because I said so. (my favorite)
• No, I don't know why ladybugs have black spots.  Just because they do.
• Didn't I tell you to close the fridge?
• Go to bed or I'm calling Santa

If you had asked me 20 years ago (yes, I graduated in 1988) whether or not I'd be saying these things on a regular basis, I'd say no way.  Back then I knew that I always wanted to have kids.  But back then I believed that everything would go my way.  I'd be rolling in cash, my kids would never misbehave, and I'd still be wearing the same size jeans.  Well, notsomuch.

Not that I'm complaining at all.  I'm happy.  I have a nice house and stuff inside of it.  My kids ARE well behaved, but I can't control them like little robots.  And that's when all the fun stuff happens, anyway.  When they decide for the 10th time that they're having a Halloween Birthday party for their bear FiFi and we need to go to the dollar store NOW for treat bags.  (Chloe, by the way).  

I'm glad I didn't have a crystal ball back then.  I might have been too afraid of the reality of it all.  I needed 10 or 15 years to warm up to the idea that my life isn't all mine.  Now it belongs to my kids.  And I'm fine with that.  Now, the couch belonging to the kids?  Not so fine with that, but I'm working on it :)

Some General Stuff

OK, here are just a few things. First of all...when, exactly, did I become a grown up? All kinds of responsibility, cleaning toilets, caring for kids and falling asleep on the couch at 9:00 (like my mother). I'm sure it was a slow and gradual process. But I was a bartender until I had kids (in 2003), and I was a late-nighter. I'd be eating eggs at Denny's at 2:00 in the morning on a Wednesday. Now, the only reason I'm up at 2:00 am is to fill up a bottle (of milk). Although I love my kids and love being a mom, every once in a while I miss the 25 year old me. (Which, if I had to pick an age to stay forever--that would be it. But only if I could still have my kids...but that's an entirely different post. Anyway, took the family to one of my favorite places last week...Sarris candy. My four year old nearly passed out when she saw all of the stuffed animals. (She has a strange stuffed animal addiction). Of course, the chocolate is yummy....(mmm...peanut butter melt-aways) but they also have a nice selection of candies from when I was little. For example, we bought some 'flying saucers' (like communion wafers with little balls of sugar inside), candy dots on paper (you always end up eating some paper!) and gold rush gum. So, it was fun. There was a great crossing guard outside. Guess he's been there forever. The hubby bought him some chocolate, and the kids gave him big smiles. They also have an ice cream shop at the store, but we went right after lunch. If you're interested in going (can't believe you haven't been there!), here are the directions. OK, just had to share! If you go, have a great time...and tell them you read about them on my blog!